Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
