I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can I color on your dick again?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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