Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
vagina is talking i cant
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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