I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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