Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
