U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize