You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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