Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
