To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
