Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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