Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
