Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
