she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize