She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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