There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
