If i could tip my vagina, i would.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
