just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
