Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
even my farts smell like vagina
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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