i don't like sucking hair
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize