fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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