Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
