she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
