When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
