Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The air taste purple.
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