I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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