just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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