Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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