I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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