If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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