i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
