i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
