So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
