GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
