I got chris browned last night
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize