OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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