Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
