your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
