Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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