i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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