Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
