unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
