So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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