I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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