I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
