We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
