What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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