his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
