Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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