I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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