and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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