While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
