It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
