im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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