OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
