id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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