Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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