She is in my trunk
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
