the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
