i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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