Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
