is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
